Our Journey Into Thanks

Chapter 11 - The joy of intimacy

“I empty to become full. Full of grace…to fully live” p 209

This particular book sharing journey has come to an end as we close the pages of our final chapter; I pray this is simply the beginning. I am both overwhelmed and a little saddened that we have come this far to simply say goodbye. There are so many beautiful inspirations in this book and thank God He has given us the very gifted Ann Voskamp, to help us discover eucharisteo and true intimacy with God.

Truly, Ann, models an ongoing journey for us…  Even in her afterword there is evidence of the never-ending nature of the pursuit to better understand God, our relationship with Him, and the practice of eucharisteo.  One of the ways Ann prompts herself to remain in on course in her efforts is by giving herself visual cues throughout her surroundings.  We hear often of her various journals – on the counter, in the bedroom, in her purse and by the end of the book, of the framed print from her trip to Paris that sits on the kitchen window sill.  Perhaps you can think of some ways to stir your heart and mind towards God and eucharisteo with a visual cue or momento of this journey. 

We have been given so many gifts, one thousand to be recorded, and here in this final chapter Ann leaves us with the question, how can I bless Him? Ann recalls a trip to Paris and for most of us this trip, any trip for that matter, sounds absolutely wonderful. However, while on this trip she discovers the very real truth that the true intimacy of joy is always found in Him. We don’t need to get on a plane to go looking for our creator, our blessed gift giver. He is always with us, always waiting for us whether we are in the laundry room, the kitchen sink, or the busyness of daily life. “Yes, eucharisteo always everywhere, right where you are…” p 220.

May the words written on page 223 continue to encourage us as we strive to live a life practising thanksgiving.  “Every breath’s a battle between grudgery and gratitude and we must keep thanks on the lips so we can sip from the holy grail of joy.”

As we learn to understand that God is in control and we can relinquish our claims to control, that we can trust Him and release our fears and anxieties to Him, that there is beauty in the ugly as He transforms it and all the other wonderful truths from this journey, may we share these lessons with others, to encourage and uplift them and may eucharisteo become our native tongue.

“Eucharisteo always precedes the miracle.”

In Luke 22:19 we read, “And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it and gave it to them…” The Lord gave thanks even on the night he was betrayed! He was sentenced to death so that we might freely live. He gave thanks…He gave thanks. I pray that we will look for Him, love for Him and always, always give thanks to Him.

Thank you for this journey.

Be blessed,
MM and MS

We can be the blessing!

As always, fantastic stories that will stay in your mind for time to come are penned by Ann in this chapter.  May we be challenged in our perceptions and grow in our ability to offer eucharisteo.

Chapter 10 - empty to fill

With Easter quickly approaching I thank God that He has chosen this time for us to experience the riches found throughout “one thousand gifts,” particularly within this chapter. We have discovered that joy comes as we give thanks for the many things He has given, as we give thanks we receive more joy and now in chapter 10 we tie it all together; true joy comes to those that give joy. On page 184 Ann writes, “grace is meant to fall, a rain…again, again, again. I could share the grace, multiply the joy, extend the table of the feast, enlarge the paradise of His presence. I am blessed. I can bless. A life contemplating the blessings of Christ becomes a life acting the love of Christ.” I love this! If we could live a life of true service can you imagine the overwhelming joy we could have?

I challenged myself with seeking to reframe my 'chores' in my mind as acts unto Christ and service to my family and others...  I caught myself wrapped up in self-focused thinking and that perception was framing my approach to all my tasks.  Then I recalled some of Ann's words in this chapter and the challenge to bless as I have been so blessed. 

I found the story of the man on the streets on page 190 and 191 to be captivating. I wanted to weep for this man as I found myself putting down the book recalling the words to a song that goes something like this, “give me Jesus, give me Jesus, you can have all this world…just give me Jesus.” As I read the words of the un-masked man, “Do I do any of the good? Did I bless? Am I a blessing?” I felt as though I could see myself in this place asking would I have stopped to receive the blessing? Would I have been the one that would return the blessing as Ann did, simply by saying thank you?

Ann's recounting of the event at the Yonge Street mission gripped me as well.  Wondering how I might have reacted, and whether or not I would have been able to see the blessing the un-masked man dared to give.  It is a good story to remind us that we all, no matter what our circumstances, are able to bless each other.  It is more a matter of us deciding to be obedient to the task of serving and blessing one another than whether or not we have been given the perfect gift or ability to bless another. 

As I continued on, I used the highlighter (as I often have throughout this entire book) on pages 192, 193, and 194. The story of the last supper is so vividly imprinted in our minds as we prepare our hearts for Easter. I am so thankful to see the words, “gratitude for the blessing that expresses itself by becoming the blessing…Jesus makes it clear…eucharisteo…it is giving grace away.” This couldn’t have come at a better time.

Have you ever washed the feet of another person? Aside from your children with the use of a garden hose in hopes of getting rid of the sand between their little toes in hopes that it won’t leave a trail across the kitchen floor.

I recall one elderly female patient in my 4th year of nursing training whom I literally squatted at her feet and cleaned and washed in between each toe... and it was evident to me that no one else had done this for this woman for quite some time, if ever, and I couldn't help but think about Christ's heart and intent in taking the time to demonstrate his love and teach his disciples in such a memorable act.  It is an exchange of humility on the part of both individuals too - one person to lower him/herself to the ground to do the washing, another to bare the ugly beautiful and humbly receive the blessing.    

What would it be like to show up at a friend’s house with a basin, and tell them you were there to wash their feet?

How can we wash the feet of others? How can we be a servant today?

Whom would you like to let know that they have so blessed you?  Whom would you want to be present and why at a foot washing ceremony similar to Ann's and her friends' ceremony?   

On page 194 Ann writes the words of Mother Teresa, “The work we do is only our love for Jesus in action.” I pray that our actions will show how deep our love for Jesus really is.

May the poetic words Ann writes on page 195 be embroidered on our hearts.

“Christian hands never clasp
And He doesn’t give gifts for gain
Because a gift can never stop being a gift-
It is always meant to be given.”

In Christ's love and service,
MM and MS

All surprising grace!

Chapter 9 - go lower 

With the windows wide open I watch my darling toddler take delight in the fragrant wind blowing swiftly across his joyful face.  He giggles aloud as he sings a song of joy in a language that only he can understand.  As I watch his expressions through the rear view mirror my heart skips a beat.  It is then, in that moment, I deliberately stop to give thanks for this child and my heart is filled with joy.  I have experienced true eucharisteo.  We meet the school bus at the edge of the road where the big boys gather in the car.  We are back on the road with the windows wide open, wind rushing through our hair, this time three beautiful boys dancing in their seats as we sing at the top of our lungs, “gonna meet salvation station in the sky!”  As we rejoice together I know my voice is lifting praises to his name, for He has given me much joy.

I found myself immediately able to identify with that very joy Ann writes about in the beginning of chapter 9, the kind of joy that radiates from an innocent child.  “The joy of small that makes life large.” (p.167)  As Ann reflects on the joy one can experience as a child she brings us to the reality that in the day to day adult world we can be left asking the question, “How to live in the state of awe when life is mundane and ordinary?” (p168)

 On page 170 we find a quote from C.S Lewis.  He said he was, “surprised by joy.”  Ann then builds on that statement as she writes, “The humble live surprised.  The humble live by joy. I am ear and Jesus whispers to the surprised.  "God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth."  Matthew 5:5.  The humble are laid-low and bowed ones, the surprised ones with hands open to receive whatever He gives.”  We then read Matthew 14:8, “anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.”  Ann continues to write with the posture of the humble one in mind and draws an incredible word picture on page 173, then writes “ that whenever I am parched and dry, I must go lower with the water and I must kneel low in thanks.  The river of joy flows down to the lowest places.” 

 When we first purchased our new washing machine I can’t even tell you the numerous times any given member of our family would sit on the floor watching the water fall from the top down in amazement.  But to be honest I don’t think I ever gave any thought to the living water and the order in which we receive the filling.  I love the way Ann uses everyday mundane life to help us open our eyes as we meet the creator right where we are.  

Suddenly reality strikes once again, knees become stiff and the moment of peace is shattered.  We then see the contrast in the lament of David, the complaint of the Israelite and the numbness in the life of Naaman.  However, Ann reassures us that, “God holds us in the untamed moments too.” (p175)  She writes, “True lament is blind faith that trusts Perfect Love enough to feel and cry authentic.” (p176) 

Perhaps, my favorite part of this entire chapter is written on page 176.  “While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things because He knows that feeling joy begins in the action of thanksgiving."

 As we make a deliberate attempt to recognize the gifts we have received I would encourage you to commit some (or maybe all if you are brave) of the wonderful scripture Ann has used to emphasize the process of receiving joy.  Here are just a few from this chapter:

“Dear brothers and sisters when trouble comes your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” James 1:2
“Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again!  Rejoice!”  Philippians 4:4
 Be willing, be humble, “Let this happen to me as you say!”  Luke 1:38
“Father if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”  Luke 22:42

This has truly been a chapter of giving up our expectations.

 “God created the world of nothing, and as long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us.”  Martin Luter King (p163)

My dear sisters, what will he make out of you?

I pray you will open the palm of your hand, bend at the knee and accept His abundant joy. May you be blessed,

Michelle

Counting Bridges and Blessings

Did you connect with Ann's description near the beginning of this chapter of her toes clenched in angst?  I have to tell you that I loved that word picture...  and I won't tell you what parts of my own body I've found curled and clenched after a particularly stressful driving experience!  This is a great chapter as Ann explores the relationships between stress, anxiety, trust and thanksgiving.

Chapter 8 - how will he not also?

We have read, re-read, highlighted, dog-eared, copied, absorbed, and hopefully imprinted our hearts with the words written throughout these first eight chapters.  I often wonder what is going to be next?  We have seen pain and fears revealed but most importantly we have learnt that as we choose to practise eucharisteo we see His mighty presence and the grace he has to offer.

I am sometimes amazed at Ann's reflective way of living and how she examines her life from that "outsiders" perspective.  It is a way of stepping back and seeking to continuously improve in her walk with God, her contribution to the process of sanctification, and she captures it well through her words.

Ann’s opening statement comes from a heart that has seen so much pain, causing her to have difficulty trusting which leads to the stress that, along with so many others, Ann is faced with each and every day, and shares that she has lived a life practising anxiety as her posture.  Throughout this journey I have given a great amount of thought to my posture, and I find it more than a coincidence that Ann refers to her anxiety as her posture.  I am consumed with the idea that in order to experience real life eucharisteo we must make a deliberate choice to give thanks in everything.  On page 156, we read, “It is in the dark that God is passing by…In the blackest, God is closest at work, forging His perfect and right will.”   I believe this will (and must) change our posture and the way we live.

Early in this chapter, Ann wrestles out a conclusion that "worry is the facade of taking action when prayer really is" (p.143).  I would agree with her thoughts about worry and stress being so closely linked to our thoughts and fears about control and the outcome of the situation that is before us.  Worry is paralyzing and leaves us powerless, whereas James reminds us that "the prayer of a righteousness man [or woman] is powerful and effective" (James 5:16).  So much of the power and effect of prayer is worked out upon us - upon our ability to trust in God in the outcome and upon acknowledging our need to recognize that God is in control.

One of my favorite quotes, and I often have many, from this chapter is "Trust is the bridge from yesterday to tomorrow, built with planks of thanks" (pp. 151-152).  Ann identifies that as we recognize the goodness of God, and the ultimate gift of His Son, and we give thanks for it all, that we can confidently, trustingly, move forward, from yesterday into tomorrow.  I found it very convicting to consider Ann's reflective question, "Every time fear freezes and worry writhes, every time I surrender to stress, aren't I advertising the unreliability of God?" (p. 151).  I don't know that the unequivocal answer is "Yes" but I would assent that it would seem to demonstrate that we may be wrestling with how reliable we perceive God to be and the tension between that perceived reliability and how we believe the situation might best be handled.   

I am so thankful that God has given Ann the words to impact the lives of so many.  I find great comfort in knowing that I can readily reach out to a mighty Saviour, take the bread and lay my head down knowing that He is my all in all. I look forward to those precious times where “God is in the tremors,” and He alone is carrying me so that I may look back and know that He and I have come so far.  As Ann reminded us and the Israelites were told,

Give thanks to the Lord of lords.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who placed the earth among the waters.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to him who made the heavenly lights-

His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 136:3-7

Let us give thanks. And in giving thanks, count the bridges that have held between our many yesterdays and the tomorrows that have come and gone, so that we can trust Him more deeply today.

Thankful for you,

MM and MS

Thankgiving In and Out

Chapter 7 – Seeing through the glass

As I turned the pages of chapter 7, I felt both touched and inspired as we began with the “profanity” of toast at the breakfast table. I realized that I have been seeking to fill the ugliness of life with beauty.

 On page 124 Ann writes, “The parent must always self-parent first, self-preach before child teach, because who can bring peace unless they’ve held their own peace?  Christ incarnated in the parent is the only hope of incarnating Christ in the child…” I truly believe this applies to us in our daily living no matter whom we are dealing with, whether it be a child, a friend, a neighbour, a co-worker, or simply a stranger we pass by.  We must be in constant practise in our Christian walk.  Admittedly I have reacted poorly a few (more like a few too many) times, like Ann says “pain drives us to the mad acts.”

I believe Ann’s understanding of the need for her own life to have Christ incarnated within has enabled her to have grasped a key for hoping to see Christ incarnated in the lives of her children.  One of the striking books that I read this fall spoke a great deal about how rarely do our children (or maybe whoever else may live with us – a roommate, spouse, other family members) see an influence of our faith upon the day-to-day living.  AND what’s very freeing about our own efforts to daily have Christ shape and mold our lives is that as long as we continue in the battle and are honest and repentant when we fail in the struggle, that there is always hope and opportunity to grow.       

As the story develops Ann takes time to stop and deliberately pause to give thanks for the two boys and writes, “Thank you that You don’t leave us in our mess.  My heart rate slows.  Something hard inside softens, opens and thanks aloud feels mechanical.  But I can feel the heart gears working.”

There is something about the power of words spoken aloud, something about hearing it while saying it and having shaped the phrases in our minds that helps it to go deeper in our hearts.

We pick up on page 128 and my very own light bulb turns on and for me this is the “ah hah” moment.  “…steady breathing a rhythm of grace-give thanks (in), give thanks (out)…Beauty in ugliness.”  This journey has not simply been about trying to record one thousand gifts, it has been a life change.  A change in posture, giving thought to the way we act and react.  A daily practise we must devote our attention too, that very moment to breath thanks. Our mindset will change, the burden will lift, the ugly will become beautiful.

Have you tried it, giving thanks, in the midst of the ugly yet?  Thanking God for a spouse to have this particular disagreement with, children who have lungs healthy enough to rail against you, a home to call your own that you have the strength and ability to clean and maintain, too much food in your refrigerator so that your clothing feels a bit snug?  Everything that can be ugly in the moment has the ability to transform us and to bring glory to God.

On page 133 Ann writes, “Learning slowly to not be so reactionary while inserting verbal gratitude into stressful situations is almost like being healed of mental blindness.  I have begun to ‘see’ again.”

May God help us to see his hand in our stressful moments, his work that he is accomplishing in the ‘big picture’ of our lives and how our reaction may influence the ability of others to see him at work in these moments.

In closing, Ann records those precious teachable moments of real life and how they come directly from scripture.  She has received the gift of her son watching her ‘hunt’ for blessing after blessing and has the opportunity to extend the invitation on page 139, “You want to – want to practise eucharisteo with me?”

How about it sisters, do you want to practise eucharisteo with us?  “…give thanks (in) , give thanks (out)” (p. 128)

In thanksgiving,

MM and MS

Sisters Who Are Sehnsucht

Chapter 6 - What do you want? The Place of Seeing God

This week I found myself in an all too familiar place of trying to be the mad mamma getting dinner on the table, baking cupcakes for a tenth birthday which I had completely forgotten about, caregiver to many, and I was accomplishing nothing successfully aside from misery. I was trying to do and be the super woman that I think everyone needs me to be. Which leads me directly to the question what am I doing with my time? Ann was in that very place at the beginning of chapter 6. In the middle of the busyness that had taken over and suddenly she takes flight to capture the eucharisteo, a full moon, that she had been longing for. Ann certainly was not longing for the brightness of a full moon to capture her eye that evening but the mighty presence of a Creator. Admittedly Ann explains that she hadn’t taken the time that day to stop and capture even one gift. Not one thought penned in the journal nor any photos captured with the camera.

The chapter's beginning is very familiar for so many of us!!  Which one of us haven't felt pulled in too many directions, or overwhelmed and exhausted, near to the breaking point at some time?  It is also a humbling reminder of how one day, full of captured moments of thanksgiving, can seem so different from the next day, when pressures and demands mount and blind the eye to God's presence in His many gifts to us.

On page 106 Ann writes, “ I am a wandering Israelite who seeks the flame in the sky above, the pillar, the smoke from the mountain, the earth open up and give way, and still I forget…I am empty of truth and need the refilling. I need come again every day – bend, clutch, and remember – for who can gather the manna but once, hoarding, and store away sustenance in the mind for all of the living?”   The answer is different for each and every one of us and that thankfully is how God created us to be. However, the question remains the same, what do you want?

 Ann is often weaving into her text deep words that are her own as well as those of other authors.  When she describes herself as "Sehnsucht for beauty, that word C. S. Lewis used from the German - to long for (sehnen) like a mania (sucht)" (p. 109), we have such a strong understanding, even visual image, of the depth of desire she is experiencing.

Ann, in her hunger for God, compares the depth of her desire to find beauty, God's glory,  to an addiction and reminds us on page 110 that "every moment I live, I live bowed to something. And if I don't see God, I'll bow down before something else."  Oh, I, too, long to see God each and every moment of the day. Developing a true heart of gratitude begins with the eyes.

The eyes and our perceptions definitely impact our ability to express gratitude and thanksgiving.  When Ann writes, "faith is always a way of seeing, a seeking for God in everything... if the eyes gaze long enough to see God lifted in a thing, how can the lips not offer eucharisteo?" (p. 114), I was challenged.  How often do those around us ask, "Where was God when...?" or "How could God allow...?" and the blindness of their lack of faith is so evident.  It is only when we have faith, the "confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1), can we rest in knowing that God is being glorified in all of it - even the ugly - and using it to transform and thus be able to offer eucharisteo.

We often find ourselves looking for God as if He is nowhere to be found.  Just as in Isaiah 45:15, "Truly you are a God who hides himself," we think, and may actually believe, it is God who is hiding.  Often we do not even fathom that it is we are in hiding.

I am reminded of a friend this week who was chatting about a quote that used to be up in a Sunday School classroom which asked the reader, "When God feels far away, who is it that really moved and caused that feeling?"  God is omnipresent and yet so often we behave, believe, and blunder through life as if He is not.

On page 116, Ann confesses (on behalf of all of us, I imagine), "I know how monstrously inhumane I can be. Raging at children for minor wrongdoings while I'm the one defiling the moment with sinful anger. Hoarding possessions while others die of starvation. Entertaining the mind with trivial pretties when I haven't bowed the head and the heart in a prayer longer than five minutes in a week. My tongue has had a razor edge and my eyes have rolled haughty and my neck has been stiff and graceless and I have lived the filth ugly, and idolater, a glutton, and a grace thief who hasn't had time for thanks."

This week, sisters, I challenge you to consider: What do you want? What do you hunger for? How have you been trying to satisfy that hunger?  What are you doing with your time?

May we be ever thankful that "His mercies are new each morning."  Lamentation 3:22-23

Blessings,

MM and MS

Discovering and Defining Grace

I love the way that Ann opens this chapter with a quote from Saint John of Avila that really summarizes the heart of this whole chapter.  The quote reads, "One act of thanksgiving, when things go wrong with us, is worth a thousand thanks when things are agreeable to our inclinations."

Chapter 5 - What in the world, in all this world, is grace?

So very much of this chapter is about discovering how to give thanks in the hard times.  The hard eucharisteo as Ann calls it.  She is faced with a potential tragedy, the first she records, since she's started her journey into gratitude and eucharisteo.

What have been the times in my life when I am suddenly forced to try to offer up eucharisteo in the face of tragedy, or real suffering?  How, and when, did I wrestle with the questions that Ann poses on p. 85, "What is good?  What counts as grace?  What is the heart of God?"  Have I really believed the answer the Bible gives us to these questions?

When Ann describes the Word (on page 87), with nail-scarred hands, who can hold us close and truly share our grief, I was reminded of the Lamentations 3:33 quote she references later about God "who does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow..." and also a teaching of Beth Moore's from her study on David which we did this fall.  Beth challenged us to not interpret or evaluate our circumstances and situations by what they are at face value and as only something that God has done or allowed but to also always use the perspective of who God IS (and was and always will be) when trying to make sense of our world and moments.

When we use the lens of the Word to remember who God is and what He is trying to accomplish, we will recognize, as did Ann on p. 94, that "it is not God who is in [our] debt but [we] who [are] in His great debt" and only then, will we be able to see the gift of every day - that we are even granted another day to look for His other gifts to us.

There have been times in my life and the lives of my family members that we have wondered why God has allowed, or brought, certain things into our circumstances.  It is when we stay focused on the Word, and in the Word, that we have been able to recognize "all is grace only because all can transform" (p. 101) and that God is using everything, even the ugly side of life, to bring about His work of beauty in our lives.  Only with that lens have we been able to be "always giving thanks to God the Father for everything..." (Ephesians 5:20).

What has been the ugly that you have seen, or are trusting God that you will see, transformed into His beautiful?  Where are you in the journey of recognizing what is grace?

Praying for you,

MS